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A Gift of Thoughtfulness in Human Development

Posted on | January 16, 2014 | No Comments

A Gift of Thoughtfulness in Human Development We received a thank-you gift today for holiday gifts we had given to our cousin’s kids. These “kids” are 19, 21, and 24 and not really children but young adults with busy lives of their own. What impressed us was that they took the time – no prodding from their equally thoughtful parents – to collaborate, to research our likes, find the delicious present, and send it. The positive emotional impact of being thought of when we least expect it will linger far longer than the edible gift. Indeed it helps us form a deeper relationship with another generation and hold them in greater esteem for their thoughtfulness. These kids, when younger, drew thank-you notes, and scribbled personal messages in the family holiday cards, so we should not be surprised now, but our professional experience with other people their age has been slightly less positive overall. Daniel Goleman in Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence emphasizes the erosion of empathy in younger generations used to cyber communication. While this may at first appear to be tangential to my point, this lack of empathy, due to minimal facial and body emotional mirroring diminishes communication. Daniel Goleman on Focus Facial and voice-sound/tone contact delivers the nuance of a message. No texted “good job” will ever have the same impact as a back slap or hug and smile for our accomplishments. Cyber communications cannot despite all emoticon attempts ever deliver the connection that humans NEED. Our sense of value, our place in the world, and the esteem (or love) with which others hold us comes from and is supported by our external world. The world expects more from everyone at an earlier age yet at the same time we are breaking down viable, necessary, and rewarding messages that would support our growing responsibilities. And by the way, it takes far longer to type a text than to hit the number on your phone and TALK to someone. Trust me, it will mean much more to them. We won’t know the worth of water until it’s gone folks. Shawn Nichols Shawnnichols.com
Category: Religious and Spiritual
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You Slept Badly Last Night; Now I’m In Trouble – The Social and Familial Impact of Sleep Deprivation

Posted on | January 13, 2014 | No Comments

You Slept Badly Last Night; Now I’m In Trouble The Social and Familial Impact of Sleep Deprivation Ask the most difficult person in your office how well they slept last night, this week, or what their patterns of sleep have been over a lifetime. Go ahead, it sounds as though you’re really concerned about them. They might like you better and eat you last. Besides building a better relationship with this daytime ogre, it might open you both up to the possibility that lack of sleep or disturbed sleep can cause a ripple effect that negatively changes our working environment. sleeping460 Google Images, 2014 Maria Konnikova’s, Good Night, Sleep Clean, in the New York Times and Ian Parker’s, The Big Sleep, in last month’s New Yorker, provide interesting information on both the theoretical necessity of sleep and Merck’s focus on providing beneficial rest when we need it most. Scientists are honing in on sleep’s place in our lives and how we can achieve it safely. In my work within male and female residential facilities for a drug and alcohol recovery organization, I witnessed and studied first hand the effects of a bad nights sleep. Given that our clients continued to spend the day together after sharing large comfortable dorm style sleeping arrangements, and then joined various discussion groups; lack of sleep, sleep medications, and the resulting daytime behaviors were common talk fare. And discussions were often negative and blame filled. Poor sleep resulted in misplaced anger, dysphoria, an inability to function, and a very much-reduced ability to create light social alliances. Even when my therapy clients, and corporate client teams power through on job functions, the all-important social alliances were cut off or jettisoned to maintain degraded attention resources. We have to prioritize our energy usage and daily requirements. Socializing requires as much energy as work and with reduced energy, people do not share, support, or engage at the same level. We know in our own families that we all avoid the grouch, and “Daddy’s tired” are reasons to look elsewhere for attention. The long-term sleep deprivation resulting in work place stress means we have less for those we love once we are back home. I’ll continue this report with information on individual sleep cycle interviews and the effects of medications on those who try to maintain the normal day. Shawn Nichols Shawnnichols.com
Category: Child and Family, Relationships, Working Environment Concerns
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If you start a journey without strong and total desire, you are already lost.

Posted on | January 10, 2014 | No Comments

The Power of Conviction and the Strength of Our Beliefs Why do people succeed? Why do people with varying levels of competence succeed and seemingly brilliant people founder? Maybe it is “practice, practice, practice”, but is there a special quality in those who achieve and exceed their goals despite less than ideal circumstances? Is it the strength of conviction? This past holiday season, I was surrounded by thousands of religious and spiritual believers enjoying orchestral choir music. Some venues were large and elaborate, others, small and intimate but in each case believers filled the space. And I became curious. Curious about the STRENGTH of their will and convictions. For centuries people have changed the direction of their lives based on this premise. Religion should not be the only way to experience total and fulfilling conviction without losing a grip on reality and potential. How do we become strongly identified with a cause, and yet do not fall victim to dogma, so that we can achieve goals that are essential to life’s plan? If you start a journey without strong desire and total desire, you are already lost. Shawn Nichols shawnnichols.com desert camels
Category: Coaching, Religious and Spiritual
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Despite my strong scientific beliefs, coincidental events have a way of engaging my superstitions and imagination.

Posted on | November 15, 2013 | No Comments

Despite my strong scientific beliefs, coincidental events have a way of engaging my superstitions and imagination. Three times I heard the crash of glass and muttered curses today. Three times in an hour faster cyclists dropped their phones on the park pavement just as they passed me. de0 Images Google 2013 Artistically and spiritually, I muse that such events might signal something meaningful in life other than pack my own phone carefully. Philosophy and psychology make much of this egocentric human condition. For today, I imagined the heavenly transport of a human spirit engaged in swift euphoric flight (cycling and high endorphin levels) brought back to the mundane aspects of a temporal world by the malfunction of primitive science-centered tools. Daedalus made wings for himself and his son Icarus so that they might experience flight and escape imprisonment but their tools failed in the hot sunshine and flight was tragically interrupted. This is a stretch even for me. Sheepishly, I checked that no one was watching me, this lone man muttering to himself with wide, arcing arm motions and lips moving in silent monologue. Now I ponder humans' need to believe that coincidental events mean something. Ever buy a lottery ticket? Is our artistic interpretation of mundane events to repurpose ourselves or simply pass the time of day? A science mind says that my brain is searching for patterns and the meaning behind repetition. In the future, my brain will use today’s events as a measure of patterns involving other similar events. My imagination however will create airborne cyclists who have left reason and rational thought on the ground as they attempt to touch heaven. Shawn M. Nichols
Category: Religious and Spiritual
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