Procrastination and Waiting to Find the Answer
Posted on | April 11, 2009 | No Comments
So I thought I would talk about Procrastination on Tuesday, but I got busy and then Wednesday, stuff came up, like it always does and by Thursday, I was too anxious to settle down so here it is Saturday. What happened to Friday?
Call them tools, coping skills, tricks or fooling yourself. How do we accomplish stuff we have been putting off so long? Two ways that work for me, though usually not at the same time:
Start with the pile directly left or right of your computer. Do it! Okay, so you just put your coffee mug into the dishwasher? Mission accomplished! Sort through the pens, paper clips and rubber bands that never seem to roost in the right place. Dump them! Two jobs done! And you’re picking up speed!
The dry cleaning receipts, that need to be sorted because you think they lost those great shirts you bought in Venice? Tape them to your front door – in fact anything that needs to go outside should be lined up at the door. But you don’t do those now. You WILL grab one or all when you leave the house the next time.
Ah oh! The books for the paper that’s due on Sunday are way far to the right and you’ll never make it to them on time? Move it in closer, but NOT next. We need to finish more brainless stuff before we tackle the bigger stuff……but we’ve already done so much. Your brain doesn’t really know if a task is long or short. Treat all tasks like short ones.
The other game, coping skill or trick I use is to do the smallest and easiest stuff first. Yes, I know your kitchen was never cleaner when you had homework to do and kept putting off. I’m talking about desk stuff – not cleaning the closets, scrubbing the shower or calling your Aunt who has been missing you. Desk stuff!
Usually what I thought would take days took only hours.
Dealing with the blame and guilt that comes from putting things off? We’ll talk about that later.
Image Courtesy of Google Images
Shawn Nichols
Tags: coping > duty > goals > procrastination > running away > skills > tools
The Dark Fugue
Posted on | April 6, 2009 | No Comments
Hidden from the world we vent our rage and hurt, Staying in our home and even in our beds for days at a time we realize that nothing is worth it and could linger in this state until someone drags us off. It is relentless, not even minimized by long sleep and each morning makes us feel worse. Depression can come on suddenly even for people who believe they are bright and cheerful all the time. Every few years, for a few days to several weeks, we sink into a deep dark place. All our domains, love, family, work and school exhaust us and we see no success in any of them. Our energy plummets without the backing of something good, something fun or new to bring us up and out. After several weeks, we start to feel less dried out. We pick up after ourselves, read a book and even think about making some future plans. Looking back we wonder what made us so dismal and unhappy....until the next time. Shawn NicholsSabotaging Our Relationships
Posted on | March 26, 2009 | No Comments
Recently a woman friend confided the ways she gets a man do to something
for her. She’s good looking, very personable, laughs a lot and is independent in many ways. I was struck by her honesty and the guiltless way she pointed out that when a man wants something from her, he would overlook a lot of difficulty. Some men, she says, actually enjoy it when the task is harder if the goal is in sight.
I asked how her current relationship was going and she said she wasn’t in one. She had not been partnered for a
while though past lovers called from time to time for a little mental masturbation.
What’s wrong with saying: I just need you to do this for me? How about, I just need you to listen? These aren’t only issues for women;
men pull the prima donna act themselves all the time. In the end, one or both people end up wondering what went wrong. Perhaps they think the other person is mad at them when it’s ‘just a little emotional blackmail’.
Honesty versus games? Who wins in the end?
Shawn Nichols
Immobilized by Our Fears
Posted on | March 17, 2009 | No Comments
We ignore the warnings and we avoid the confrontation, knowing all the time, it will just get worse. We isolate.
Video, Courtesy of Youtube.com
As our financial situation or our relationships worsen, we cling to old ideas and negative people because the devil we know is better than the one we don’t. We think. We run away.
Image Courtesy of Google Images
In workshops, I ask my clients to become the big brother or sister to themselves. It takes a bit of visual imagery, a lot of practiced thinking but who better to care for ourselves than US!
Tags: Alice > conflict > confrontation > fear > finances > warning
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