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Cara, as I am changing careers, I and a bunch others having been talking fearfully about having to interview with someone HALF OUR AGE!

Yes, it will happen and we all have stomach queasinness about it because as you may already know having a few young ones of your own – that generation thinks we’re idiots. They have also been taught to blame others for everything because somehow most parents of that generation didn’t want their kids to have to experience being WRONG. That would be so HURTFUL and create twisted kids or something. So they have grown up with a sense that they are the smartest folks on the planet. Our schools only taught wood chopping evidently.

This is very bad news because without strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility no one is going to be at the business driver seat in a decade or so. I will be checking out early or living safely in a secure environment protected by some strong weapons.

A recent article in the WSJ, NYT or SF Chronicle, I read them all, said that anyone over fifty thinking of a job change MUST start their own business because dang if anyone younger is going to hire you. First, they think we screwed everything up and maybe they don’t want someone with patience and experience advising them. How’s that working for all those parents of teenagers these days?

I try to remember what I thought about older people in my late teens and early twenties. I can remember when I first realized my parents did not know everything. “They’re teaching you what in school? What is that?” I do know that when I did not have respect for an elder’s intelligence I was still afraid of them. They were connected and so could make things happen or not happen in your life – scary!

Recently I admitted I did not know how to speak the language of the younger generation. It sounds like a lot of paraphrases and tech words. I know the individual word components but I just don’t understand how that is construed as COMMUNICATION. I try different approaches when communicating with anyone much younger. Arching my eyebrow works about half the time. Using a thoughtful and appreciative facial expression with a slight nod seems to throw them off and they think we are understanding each other. Hah! This is one of my recent rants on my blogsite: Helpchatonline.com and Aging.

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xoxoxo Shawn

Normal versus accelerated aging is generally related to our genes and hereditary issues and codependent effects from and to other parts of the body. One small problem kicks off another. But on a smaller scale, cellular aging may be changeable. Senescence, the aging of the physical body, can be modified or slowed somewhat by decreasing caloric intake.

Vintners, H. (2001). Aging and the human nervous system.

Check back each week for the series on Aging, as well as other interesting subjects.

Recently a female client in a DBT group I run, wanted to discuss her fascination with abusive sex, mainly receiving it. This was a problem of course, as it began to trigger other female clients in the group.

But her questions were good ones, so after talking through some of the issues with the triggered clients, I started a little research project.

There is an online site called Fetish Life or fetlife.com. It is mostly straight though there are gay members. I was impressed with the level of sharing, articulation and empathy among its member s and it’s FREE! For some members it seemed helpful and empowering to talk about their reasons for taking ‘control mastery’, that is taking control and recreating a sexually traumatic situation from their past.

I highly recommend this site as a place to share thoughts and actions on taboo sexual subjects. It is amazingly well done and the members are quite supportive.

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Shawn Nichols

So I thought I would talk about Procrastination on Tuesday, but I got busy and then Wednesday, stuff came up, like it always does and by Thursday, I was too anxious to settle down so here it is Saturday. What happened to Friday?

Call them tools, coping skills, tricks or fooling yourself. How do we accomplish stuff we have been putting off so long? Two ways that work for me, though usually not at the same time:

Start with the pile directly left or right of your computer. Do it! Okay, so you just put your coffee mug into the dishwasher? Mission accomplished! Sort through the pens, paper clips and rubber bands that never seem to roost in the right place. Dump them! Two jobs done! And you’re picking up speed!

The dry cleaning receipts, that need to be sorted because you think they lost those great shirts you bought in Venice? Tape them to your front door – in fact anything that needs to go outside should be lined up at the door. But you don’t do those now. You WILL grab one or all when you leave the house the next time.

Ah oh! The books for the paper that’s due on Sunday are way far to the right and you’ll never make it to them on time? Move it in closer, but NOT next. We need to finish more brainless stuff before we tackle the bigger stuff……but we’ve already done so much. Your brain doesn’t really know if a task is long or short. Treat all tasks like short ones.

The other game, coping skill or trick I use is to do the smallest and easiest stuff first. Yes, I know your kitchen was never cleaner when you had homework to do and kept putting off. I’m talking about desk stuff – not cleaning the closets, scrubbing the shower or calling your Aunt who has been missing you. Desk stuff!

Usually what I thought would take days took only hours.

Dealing with the blame and guilt that comes from putting things off? We’ll talk about that later.

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Shawn Nichols