The Feeling of Being Alone and Ignored

Posted on | June 5, 2011 | No Comments

Recently,  in one of my groups, a young woman stated that she was tired of being ignored in her outside life. The other women in the

group became silent and one by one, either offered support to the first women or said they felt the same way. A spirited dialogue followed on the number of

people feeling isolated and ignored.

One thing is certain. Many people feel left out. When lists are drawn up, it appears that these women at least had important contacts but they felt no one was really listening. When we listen are we preparing our own story to show empathy? Are we concerned about comforting this person so we subconsciously redirect them to another feeling because we don't wish to experience their pain or feel protective? Is this manipulating them away from their problems?

Many women who responded that they were sincerely offering comfort were also able to add that they hate when people do that to them. The receiver of this comfort may actually experience frustration becasue they wish to express their feelings and are not looking for someone else to fix the problem. They are asking for reflective, deep listening. They want to experience an open, nonjudgmental association with another human to verbalize their own distress. So comfort is really not more than really listening?

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