Recently a friend lost her husband to a terminal illness. Just before his death, he confessed to her that he had known he was sick for two years. She had only known for three weeks. Now she and her children are hurt and wounded, not understanding what made him act as he did. I can’t say, I had only met him once.

I think we are all concerned about our impact on the world. We wish to make our mark, leave some legacy or leave with people talking about us, both good and bad. Perhaps this man, who walked off quietly disturbing his family as little as possible, wished for them to live their lives without the overwhelming sense of the inevitable. Every last day for him was a picture of normal life. That life could have included arguments, disappointments and simple joys, but it also allowed him to live the balance in relative peace.

We have been told that the grieving process is natural and should be allowed to continue naturally. Grief is personal and takes its own sweet time. In grieving, we cannot make sense of other people’s motives. If those I love had made such a choice, I too would have been hurt and confused. Having heard this man’s story, I hope I will be as strong as he and be able to leave quietly, not waking those around me, allowing their lives to go on with as little pain and worry as possible.

Shawn M. Nichols, CC