A leader must acknowledge that members of a group become part of the collective leadership, playing in and out of a leading role as individuals with suggestions, complaints, and directing pivotal change within the group dialogue. This may change the role of the named leader into a follower or participant. Leaders are often determined by their family, financial power or acumen, with attendance at select schools that teach the mechanics of leadership. These people become the stewards of process often at the expense of reflection, intervention and paradigm change. Opposing forces are the individuals affected by the laws and cultural manipulations that become the change agents through and because of their lack of initiation into a proscribed atmosphere of “running the shop”.

Historically, students and initiates are the force for shaking status quo management’s strong beliefs. While there exists an incipient level of arrogance in that student group also, the dialogue is usually well informed and fresh. Their arguments and proposals can force reflection into a management.

It is because of the mutating role of a leader within a process group that one must rethink the traditional positivistic methods of leadership. One must start to think of leadership as an umbrella concept containing elements of any good societal or cultural process and system.

Shawn Nichols, MA, CC
doctoral student

shawnnichols.com

Yes, it will happen and we all have stomach queasinness about it because as you may already know having a few young ones of your own – that generation thinks we’re idiots. They have also been taught to blame others for everything because somehow most parents of that generation didn’t want their kids to have to experience being WRONG. That would be so HURTFUL and create twisted kids or something. So they have grown up with a sense that they are the smartest folks on the planet. Our schools only taught wood chopping evidently.

This is very bad news because without strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility no one is going to be at the business driver seat in a decade or so. I will be checking out early or living safely in a secure environment protected by some strong weapons.

A recent article in the WSJ, NYT or SF Chronicle, I read them all, said that anyone over fifty thinking of a job change MUST start their own business because dang if anyone younger is going to hire you. First, they think we screwed everything up and maybe they don’t want someone with patience and experience advising them. How’s that working for all those parents of teenagers these days?

I try to remember what I thought about older people in my late teens and early twenties. I can remember when I first realized my parents did not know everything. “They’re teaching you what in school? What is that?” I do know that when I did not have respect for an elder’s intelligence I was still afraid of them. They were connected and so could make things happen or not happen in your life – scary!

Recently I admitted I did not know how to speak the language of the younger generation. It sounds like a lot of paraphrases and tech words. I know the individual word components but I just don’t understand how that is construed as COMMUNICATION. I try different approaches when communicating with anyone much younger. Arching my eyebrow works about half the time. Using a thoughtful and appreciative facial expression with a slight nod seems to throw them off and they think we are understanding each other. Hah! This is one of my recent rants on my blogsite: Helpchatonline.com and Aging.

Image Courtesy of Google Images

xoxoxo Shawn

Vintners, H. (2001). Aging and the human nervous system.

Check back each week for the series on Aging, as well as other interesting subjects.

What’s happening to my world? I grew up playing on the street, knowing every adult was my friend and could be relied on in times of childhood trouble. My parents made little, we ate well enough and clothes got passed around from cousin to sibling and back. No, my childhood was not a lovely dream. My childhood was filled with abuse and fear, but also love and friendship.

I have started to return to those times in a way that makes sense for me. No more new cars because that’s what my self esteem demands. I won’t shop because it’s on sale. The financial crisis has taken care of that for many of us. A new understanding of psychology has given me the names and terms for conditions I could not have explained earlier. But I know one thing: before life got complicated it wasn’t always easy and yes, I felt dread from time to time. But I ‘fixed’ my problems by emotional grounding, crying to reduce anxiety and asking others for help and assurance. I relied on my connections and tried to work through problems instead of dropping people and situations that were uncomfortable. I want to go back in time.

I will connect more in meaningful ways. I will smile more and praise others more often. Passing in the sidewalk, I will acknowledge others – even if they think I’m crazy.

Shawn M.Nichols, CC

big feet, simple joys

Recently a friend lost her husband to a terminal illness. Just before his death, he confessed to her that he had known he was sick for two years. She had only known for three weeks. Now she and her children are hurt and wounded, not understanding what made him act as he did. I can’t say, I had only met him once.

I think we are all concerned about our impact on the world. We wish to make our mark, leave some legacy or leave with people talking about us, both good and bad. Perhaps this man, who walked off quietly disturbing his family as little as possible, wished for them to live their lives without the overwhelming sense of the inevitable. Every last day for him was a picture of normal life. That life could have included arguments, disappointments and simple joys, but it also allowed him to live the balance in relative peace.

We have been told that the grieving process is natural and should be allowed to continue naturally. Grief is personal and takes its own sweet time. In grieving, we cannot make sense of other people’s motives. If those I love had made such a choice, I too would have been hurt and confused. Having heard this man’s story, I hope I will be as strong as he and be able to leave quietly, not waking those around me, allowing their lives to go on with as little pain and worry as possible.

Shawn M. Nichols, CC

Courtesy of familydoctor.org

How do I know if my child’s behavior is normal?

Parents often have difficulty telling the difference between variations in normal behavior and true behavioral problems. In reality, the difference between normal and abnormal behavior is not always clear; usually it is a matter of degree or expectation.

The parents’ own temperament, usual mood, and daily pressures will also influence how they interpret the child’s behavior. Easygoing parents may accept a wider range of behavior as normal and be slower to label something a problem, while parents who are by nature more stern move more quickly to discipline their children. Depressed parents, or parents having marital or financial difficulties, are less likely to tolerate much latitude in their offspring’s behavior. Parents usually differ from one another in their own backgrounds and personal preferences, resulting in differing parenting styles that will influence a child’s behavior and development.

Courtesy of aap.org